Ode To O.


He protects me in the standoffish way that a true brother would.

He craves my affection the way a son would.

His feline ways are inherently feminine yet he spars with his chihuahua “sibling” like a true tomboy (tomcat?)

In the midst of the mosh pit that had become my life I was unable to care for Osiris despite my love and gratitude for him.

Now, I embrace the fact that loving people are caring for him until he can return home.

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“Becoming” actually feels like an energy growing within me from the base of my spine up through my insides – – like a creativity that has been sleeping, now awakened.  The color is yellow and it feels feminine.  The fabric of my life experience broadens, yet simultaneously, the weave of the fabric tightens.  In God’s magnificent fabric, each individual is “becoming” in his or her own way, yet we are all interconnected.

Recently, I began practicing Sahaja Meditation (www.sahajameditation.com).  My local library offered free group classes so I gave it a try.  My previous experiences with meditation proved unfulfilling, as my mind is typically like a kindergarten classroom.  As I would try to empty my mind, thoughts and emotions would intrude and I would give up until the next fruitless attempt years later.  The old adage:  “When the student is ready the teacher will come” may be true in my case because during this challenging time in my life, Sahaja entered and after only a few sessions, I haven’t been the same.  The effects are subtle…

“Becoming” feels like an ascent – – within me, and

me … rising up to new fulfilling heights.


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Fragrance Review! Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s “Al-Azif”

In the bottle and on wrist:  spicy, light, green, earthy undertones;  cocoa?coffee?

Layered again on wrist 15 minutes later:

I am transported to a Middle-eastern spice market where there are textiles blowing above my head in the breeze.  The breeze is warm and moist despite the desert climate and the air is heavy with the scent of coffee, cocoa, paprika, mace, and several different kinds of curries.  I wade through the crowds as vendors advertise their wares of colorful beaded jewelry, terracotta-colored pottery, and cookware….

My cousin Lisa can create with these exceptionally beautiful fabrics and beads…Millie can work magic in the kitchen with these delicious spices…I LOVE wearing ‘Al-Azif’…I sniff myself all day with this one! Way-to-go BPAL!!!  (www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com)

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I have been living in the Bronx for over 21 years.  Yesterday, I took a different way home by foot and came upon the Henry Hudson Memorial Park that I never knew existed, much less a stone’s throw away from home!  I was awestruck – – the fall foliage was simply breathtaking.  I took several pictures, none of which did the experience justice.

I will post pictures soon…just wanted to post about this glorious accidental discovery.



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Good Deeds

…are not only those done for others but those done by others for ourselves.  One of the issues that I have been working on is the ability to graciously receive – – a compliment, a blessing, forgiveness, etc.

Recently, a neighbor was kind enough to stock my refrigerator and cupboard because he found out that  doing so for myself was challenging.  This helped to sustain my body as well as my spirit because God sent a blessing via a new friend.

I thank God for you, Chip.

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Good Deeds

On Monday, November 16, 2015, I personally experienced the power of the law of attraction at work in my life.  I had been visualizing checks and actual money – – bills – – flying out of my mailbox.  In this visualization, as I laughed, danced, tried catching all of the bills, etc. my neighbors passed by and looked at the scene in dismay.  On this particular day, one piece of mail actually contained a dollar bill, accompanied with a survey and the promise of five more dollars upon its completion and return.

The good deed part of the story:  I called someone who had been feeling very down and hopeless about life in general.  I shared my story with her, and as I told it, even before reaching the punch line, I could hear in her voice and ‘feel’ over the phone that her spirits were lifting and her hope and faith were increasing.  She laughed in a way that I hadn’t heard in a long while.

My mantra has been:  “As I receive each blessing, I will invest in the next one.”  When I received a blessing in the mail, I wanted to share it in an attempt to lift someone else up….

God bless you Millie…

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On Wednesday November 18, 2015, I attended a fabulous event at A Touch of Sun salon in the Bronx!  (www.atouchofsunhairsalon.com)  Good vibes, food, and libation right here in my hood!  They featured makeovers using Motives cosmetics.  (www.motivescosmetics.com)  They offer, among other great products, custom-blended foundation for all skin types.  I had my eye makeup expertly done by the lovely Christina Lempesis (flawlessbychris@yahoo.com).  I even won free makeup in the raffle!  Maria, my stylist at the salon, was the last to cut my purple Mohawk! I can’t wait to pick up my prize, book my next service with Maria, and attend another Motives event!!!

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…represent personas in my opinion.  All of the names that I have been given or called over the years say something about aspects of my personality or about the person(s) who “baptized” me.

Reportedly, my family nickname was born shortly after I was.  My parents looked at me and said “We will name her ‘Michelle’ and we’ll call her ‘Shelly’.”  From that moment on, neither parent uttered Michelle again.

My college nickname arrived sometime freshman year and it was a close dorm-mate, Sara from Oklahoma, who baptized me ‘Boobie’.  The origins of this particular moniker are actually quite uninteresting.  However, the speculations regarding a D cup on a small frame were interesting indeed!

‘Big Sister Moving Violation’ was a very short-lived title gifted creatively and generously by my sorority sister during junior year in college.  It was only used as part of a greeting that pledgees would say out of respect.  For that reason alone, as much as I love it for its clever description of one of my qualities (“That butt is always movin’!”), I consider it to be a name that has been retired.

While in graduate school, my boyfriend at the time, Manny, baptized me as ‘Shel'”.  This relationship is significant because it is the longest one that I have had with a man to date.  He tended to alter the names of everyone he knew.  I liked the sound of his name for me whenever he called from another room…

‘Miguelita’ will always be associated with my indoctrination, initiation, and membership-by-injection, into Latino culture.  When I moved to the Bronx I immediately began to work with families of Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Mexican descent.  I was suddenly immersed in a culture of Spanish words, lyrics, aromas, flavors, and rhythms.  ‘Miguelita’ (little feminine Miguel, little feminine Michael) was inspired by a colleague and special friend, Sandra, who appreciated my interest in her native Puerto Rico and her husband’s native Dominican Republic.  For about fifteen years, between the hours of 8:00 and 3:20, I heard this name spoken respectfully and called affectionately.

During those same years, signing my entire name became tedious and it quickly deteriorated to my first two initials and last name, which then deteriorated to MTB whenever appropriate.

In keeping with my immersion into Latino culture, the names ‘Mich’ and ‘Michie’ (pronounced “Mee-chee”) were used by a Puerto Rican lover and a mother-in-law, respectively.

Finally…M.T.B. – – different from the rushed scrawl used hastily at work – – the reader and speaker has to pause after each period.  M.T.B. represents the most reflective, introspective version of myself, which I am still ‘becoming’…

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My Playground !

For me, the image of a playground evokes feelings of happiness, free-spirits, laughter, high energy levels, and other qualities that tickle my fancy!!!

I created the Itty Bits category to include all of the representations of fun in my life!  I hope that others will enjoy….

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My Purpose….

I believe that each individual’s purpose on this earth is to be of service to others in some way.  Each person has their own unique talent or gift that they use to help others.  I believe that my special ability is to heal others with words – – whether they be spoken, written, or sung.

Through the years, and especially during this time in my life, I have used meditation, relaxation, and metaphysics to assist me in: healing, remaining grounded, learning to forgive, and most importantly, in growing into, and becoming the best that I can be.  I believe that all of this allows me to be of service to others in the best way possible.

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