lunalight7 on Cigarettes and Lollipops Sandra on Cigarettes and Lollipops lunalight7 on Feather: A Poem… vidishakaushik on Feather: A Poem…
I feel safe as I walk the dark, wet streets
despite the preponderance of red and blue lights among vehicles.
I Am supported by the ground, as it gives me just enough to survive another day.
I Am rooted in this town that I’ve adopted
and it envelops me in security
despite the assault in progress around the corner
or the fiend in withdrawal up the block.
I have a home away from home that nurtures my mind and soul with words.
With the wings of an eagle I soar, looking down on my co-creation.
As above, so below.
As Father God’s sun irradiates the earth
my Love for Mother Earth radiates from me
to everyone and every space that I inhabit.
I Am innocent. I Am safe. I Am Love.
M.T. Bernard 2/2/16
My affirmation for today is: “I forgive myself for choosing fear. Today I choose Love.”
Last night, I dreamed of my mother. She was still living in my childhood home, as she always is in my dreams about her. I lashed out at her angrily for not adequately preparing the house for the holiday family dinner. When my cousin Debbie arrived, she asked for ammonia and sponges to clean the bathroom. I was angry at Edna (my mother) for having dementia.
My anger, in real life, is rooted in fear…fear of losing the mother I knew, and fear of losing myself, who I only knew as a reflection of her expectations and wishes. Today, instead of fear, I choose to love myself, who I am now just getting to know now that there’s no one to impress or please. Today, instead of anger at Edna for “leaving me”, I choose to just love her – – all of her – – the memories of who I once knew, and the woman who is changing before my eyes.
I ate ten lollipops today.
A lot of sugar for a life lacking sweetness for so long.
Cloudcoat on Whitehall, beautiful obscure white sky
nothing but roofs under which happy families reside.
A lucky clip here and there… hope no one spies my now-back-pocketed pride.
On the road again towards a meeting of minds.
Someone thought to bring me breakfast. How could they have known the emptiness in my belly that is now being filled with creative thoughts and ideas?
I devour them….printed, spoken, mused.
Each morning I tell myself that the journey ahead is filled with God’s masterpieces….flora, fauna, tweets, roars, screeching, laughter, movement, yelling, chatting, gusts, whirls, fog, drops.
In reality, I troll for treasures lying in the street and treats gratis at the same locale
where I stand in hopes of a miracle. One day soon something will change
in the direction of my visualizations and desires.
Until then, cigarettes and lollipops it will be.
It should be a fond remembrance of you.
Yet I leave it on the sidewalk
isolated, trampled, wet, dirty
the way I felt when I was with you
You were tickled, nurtured, aroused
I was angry, resentful, disinterested
You felt the energy of the being that the object previously adorned
Free to soar at will
I felt confined by our closeness
chained and grounded by painful memories
I leave it on the sidewalk
so that I can be free at last.